Mitchell call up Bucknum for 2018

Mitchell have announced that FF2M championship leader Chuck Bucknum will join Lewis Hamilton at the team in 2018.

Never one to shy away from a public event, team boss Joe Mitchell took to the stage at the West Country Carnival to announce the news and took questions from stunned press, who only thought they were there to report on the traditional squibbing and were unprepared for Mitchell’s hijacking of the event.

“Signing Chuck was an absolute no brainer. You want people on your team who thrive under pressure and Chuck lived up to his nickname of “The Buck” as when he was given one season to prove he belonged with the big boys he smashed all competition in FF3M. Then he goes into FF2M and not only did he hold his own but he has schooled some far more experienced and some very over hyped competition and he will win that title this season.”

When the one well informed onlooker remarked that signing Bucknum would help offset Lewis Hamilton’s salary demands Mitchell took umbrage. “I want to address the rumour out there that the only reason we are signing him is because he is cheap as chips, when that is absolutely not true, the chips at this carnival are extortionate. It’s early evening robbery”

“But even so when have you ever known me to go cheap, I bought the hell out of those chips, one each for each member of my family, hell even my bottled water is imported directly from a spring on Mount Everest all at my own expense……… actually you know what this interview is over and if any of this is printed you will here not only from my lawyer but also my therapist and most worryingly for you my mum and believe me you don’t want to mess with Doris she scares the S*** out of me!” A statement that elicited knowing murmurs from those locals who had remained at the event who were all well aware of the harsh vitriol that had moulded Mitchell into the eccentric philanthropist that we all know and love.

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