Alonso stays in Yorkshire, switches to Shake n Bake.

Shake n Bake today announced the poaching of fellow Yorkshire team Exolite’s star driver Fernando Alonso in a move that is sure to send shockwaves across the Rhubarb Triangle.

Triple world champion Alonso will replace German Sebastian Vettel in the team, who earlier announced his departure to Pedersen after five long seasons with the team. He will be joined next year by American rookie Nolan Bryant who has been promoted from the organisation’s FF2M operation.

Alonso has recently had an upswing in form at Exolite and was thought to be enjoying his time with the team, but as everyone in the paddock knows Shake n Bake team boss Fredro Fwibbib has his ways, and use of a 40% discount at Lovehoney, to get what he wants from drivers.