Shake ‘n’ Bake predict a “tight field with lots of different winners.”

At the launch of their 2016 challenger, titled the SnB14-SFW, Shake ‘n’ Bake’s eccentric team chairman Fredro Fwibbib sat down with FF1M’s lead commentator James Brickles to discuss the upcoming season as well as previous off-track events that have left Fwibbib in a spot of bother.

Q: Thank you for talking to us today Fredro Fwibbib, but why at this specific location?

A: Unfortunately after Bratwurst-gate, the crown prosecutors sentenced me to a short programme here at the Addict’s Rehabilitation & Safeguarding Establishment in an attempt to curb my “social media impulses”. On the advice of my legal team, I can’t really comment further on the incident other than to reiterate that this was an honest miscommunication, and to give my sincerest apologies to the royal family’s dogs.

However, I can indeed confirm rumours that I have been officially cast out of the Furry-hood as a result of this, therefore the race team has regrettably cut ties with “Sir Slushy Winters the Yellow Snowbeast” and “Pete Fluffington III”. It seems like I’m back in the Furry’s crosshairs… pun intended… so perhaps this is the best place for me at the moment given ARSE’s robust security. Last night, I looked out of my window to see a pack of ravenous “Crinklers” outside of the facility walls. They were hurling balls of something at the guard staff on the gate. I’m not entirely sure what it was they were throwing, but I did hear that one of the lads that got hit had to go to hospital with severe pinkeye… it was scary stuff!

Q: Shake ‘n’ Bake’s 2015 season was that of two halves; a strong first half followed by a difficult second half. How come the contrast was so vast?

A: Last season was a vicious cycle. With each failure, we had more ground to make up, and therefore we had to take more risks with our ERS, leading to more blowups. Eventually, our car was about as reliable as your local McFlurry machine, or a 20 year old TVR. Maybe we’ll have to focus on reliability more this year… but then again, I do really like TVRs…

Q: You’ve kept the same line-up for 2016. How would you summarise the combination of Sebastian Vettel and Itsuki Yoshida, and what are their aims for 2016?

A: Well firstly, we all know how good Sebby is, so we’d be mad to not want to keep him. We may have had to cut corners with staff uniforms and overalls to pay his salary, but it’s fine, our mechanics don’t need the elaborate attire the Gojira boys have. But yes, last year saw a great performance from the other guy too, so we saw no reason to change.

Q: And perhaps an additional word for your test drivers Bram de Boer and Nolan Bryant?

A: Brolan Nyant is a driver, and so is Dram be Doer. They are top lads, it’s two thumbs up from me!

Q: You have acquired two new customers in the form of GRM and Exolite. How will that plus the ERS reset affect Megatron’s development? Sorry, I should say Megatron Ultra Non-perishable Technologies & Engine Resources.

A: We’re delighted to have them on board with the project and can’t wait to see them leaving the pits in Bahrain with their wailing MUNTERs in the back. As for the ERS, we’re probably in a good place because I suspect that our ERS was the weakest of all the teams pre-reset. We thought that the main benefits of ERS would come in qualifying under the old engine rules, and Saturdays have never really been our thing… would rather have a lie in to be honest and just turn up on Sunday. So, we decided to focus more on the ICE because we thought that would be more advantageous in the races… sorry Greta! Now the engine rules have changed though, we may need to amend that philosophy…

Q: It is worth mentioning that your main sponsors Love Honey were impressed that Vettel managed to score 69 points in 2015. What sort of promotions can we expect from LH this season?

A: Well once we knew the championship had gone in Spa, it simply became a case of securing the 69 above anything else. I’m sure team boss Courtney Cass will provide some seasonal promotions from the commentary booth throughout the year. As part of their engine deal, GRM and Exolite have both received lots of complementary goodies from LH. With us flying all over the globe to race, the crews have to spend a lot of time apart from their partners, which can be quite difficult, particularly for the ladies and gents we leave back in the UK. Thankfully, Love Honey has got them covered, and they certainly won’t be running out of things to keep them entertained!

I recently had a chat with Exolite boss James Whiteley. He’d used the equipment to do a bit of a basement renovation – he gave me a virtual tour over video call and I was very impressed with what he’d done with the place. Clearly, he really valued the equipment a lot and didn’t want anyone to break in and steal it because there were a lot of locks on that basement door!

Q: And lastly, who of the other teams is looking strong?

A: Only a fool would underestimate the FF1M behemoths that are Gojira and Tornado… those two are always high on predictions list. I suspect Willows will be strong too, and we could see FJR spring up the order too. Honestly, it’s hard to say really, I think it will be a tight field with lots of different winners and everyone having a shot… other than Exolite.