Gojira announce unchanged lineup for 2019

With Gojira AutoSport currently sitting atop the FF1M standings with the summer break just around the corner, seasoned Silly Seasoners were anxiously purchasing foods, beverages, and practicing their online sh*tposting with help from LLMs, ready to create widely speculative posts, comment on press rumours, and trounce team owners for confirmed announcements. However, as a shock to Silly Seasoners and seasoned observers, Gojira AutoSport has jumped the gun and done an early start – hopefully for the team not a jump start – and have perhaps shockingly announced the team is delighted to confirm that both Alessandro Farina and James Clark will remain as Gojira AutoSport FF1M drivers for the next season.

On a brief press conference hosted at one of the team’s many worldwide offices, this one located in northern Italy in a very aesthetically pleasing Mediterranean-coastal style 2-story office building, complete with a bakery, ice cream shop, and slot-car track center, team owner Gui relayed the news sitting alongside both Alessandro and James.

“Alessandro’s performances this year have made the decision to renew our deal as difficult as choosing whether to have a freshly made margherita pizza from our kitchen downstairs. If your diet is gluten-free, please let our main host Giuseppe Nicola Andrea Michele Baggio know before ordering. Ale has been extremely consistent for us with strong showings in the end of last season continuing into an incredible streak of podiums this year. As a driver of the Gojira programme, seeing him lead the current championship is very satisfying. Plus, his family supplies the flour we use in our pizza shop and renewing his contract was part of the supply deal we had to sign.

Jimi Clark has been the perfect teammate, going from strength to strength with consistent results, playing a major role in our position at the top of the Teams’ standings. I was delighted to bring him back to the Gojira family for this season after his spell at Ajay Motors, where he learned key trade secrets like decompiling wads and using GPxPatch. It wouldn’t surprise me to see him snatch his first win at some point this season!”

The press conference was broadcast live worldwide with fans cheering the news. However not all FF1M loyalists were happy with the news. Former FF1M staff and currently disgraced billiards contestant, Angus McBarnes was seen roaming the streets, crying and shouting in disgust. Sources say they were able to make out some words during his belligerent display, with something along the lines of “HOW DARE THEY! How dare he! Hee Hee! The Michael Jackson movie is out!” Another passerby reportedly overheard his complaints about the Aldershot Red Lion’s being under construction and not having currently having windows for him to lunge through.